Thursday, February 21, 2013

(Part2) The Juggler: Motherhood, Career, Studies

An interesting and hectic week has finally come to and end. Yeay!

As usual, being me, the week could not have passed unnoticed or undramatised (is there such a word? lol) since I have anticipated it being the first week of going back to school and at the same time things at work decided to pick up a notch as well.

First day of school: Despite lining up all my stuffs, taking photos of it out of excitement (you can see from the previous post.. haha) and making sure that I have all that I could possibly need on a first day, I manage to forget some of the crucial items. It started by me being late because I got lost (typical of me... forget where did I put the blasted GPS and not able to read the signboards (forget to wear my contact lens) is a real bummer... :p). Upon arriving at my destination, class has started and so it was so quiet and to add to the dramatic effect, the corridor was quite dark! I thought that I was in some twilight zone-ish place (blame the lighting... lol) or in one of the scene in a horror film! Honestly, I would not be surprised if I bump into a "hantu" there... hahaha... eventhough I hope not as I'm sure that I will pengsan because of the shock... :p

And then I finally found the class for my subject. As I was really late, the only available seat was at the back and to top it, the lecturer has a mild to medium volume voice, therefore I could not hear her properly nor can I see anything on the white board or the projector. (Note to self: Next time do not forget to wear contacts or get a freaking glasses a.s.a.p). On the plus point, this pushes me to get to know other people, eventhough it was rather embarrassing as I sound like a 90 years old grandma for keep on repeating "what did the lecturer said just now? what is that on the board?"... hahaha... I must have sound like the annoying girl/makcik in a chick flick... Sorry classmates :)... and oh! I forgot to bring water and get so thirsty half way through class... not wanting to annoy any other people in that class, I just keep quite and only focuses on cordial conversation rather than bombarding them with information counter kind of questions... hehe

Second day of school: Both babies at home (ie. hubby and the little princessa) missed me!! Awwww... My husband came to fetch me for lunch as he said that he kind of missed not having enough time to talk to me at home the night before and the little princessa also made her grandma call me on my handphone during the day so that she can hear my voice (sob sob sob...) (another note to self, can not take this for granted, must finish the course as soon as I possibly can!). Thankfully things went ok during the second class as I came on time and brought all of the things needed and I seat in front of the lecturer's face! Also met a few girls who seem nice and hopefully we can be friends! Yeay! Hoping that this drama free days at school at least, will continue.

Day three was "the hectic" day as I had to attend a meeting in Johor Bahru (yup approximately 760km to and fro KL) at 2:00pm and was still hopeful to make it to my 6:30pm class in my campus some where near by Bank Negara. Did went to class but when I arrived, the class has ended as the lecturer only did a short briefing and had dismissed the class by the time I reach there. Luckily a guy from the class that I attended on the first day remembered me and was nice enough to summarise to me what the lecturer had said in the class that I have missed.

And that is the summary of my one interesting week. TGIF!! :)

xoxo

Monday, February 18, 2013

Demam Rindu

Instinctively, I had nightmares and anxiety attacks prior to leaving baby girl for the 2 days and one night team building programme in Port Dickson, Seremban. To my horror, the nightmares and anxieties were actually substantiated when baby girl was having a fever when I came back . From my personal observation, she may be missing me (or at least missing THE "nenen" ie. breastmilk) too much.

This leads me to think, can someone really falls sick because of missing someone so badly? I am sure there are a lot of proper scientific or medical researches done to show the relation between one's emotional and physical being. Nonetheless, if I were to make my own deduction and from my observation on my personal physical well being, I notice that if I am feeling down or stressed with something, my body will also react by being unwell by having headache or migraine or general unwell feeling, depending on the degree of my unhappiness or stress.

My baby's condition deeply saddens me. What if I have to work outstation for days? What will happen to her. I'm sure there are a lot working mummies out there who have found a solution for this dilemma of mine but at the moment I'm still stuck in the beginners level.

Therefore, I believe that the only reason for my baaby having a fever is because she misses me badly (nonetheless, will get her diagnosed by her paediatrician for confirmation).


Mummy loves you so so so much too princessa!

xoxo

Sunday, February 17, 2013

(Part 1) The Juggler: Motherhood, Career, Studies

Yes, I finally did it!

I enroll myself in a postgraduate course. To be exact, Masters in Business Administration (MBA) course conducted in one of the local university.

Upon registering for the course, I received tonnes of questions from friends, families, colleagues etc. Why now? Why not before I got married and start a family? Why that university? Why that course? Don't you feel tired? Can you cope? Yes. Tonnes of questions.

The answer is... Ahhh, forget it! :p

I do not have a definite or well thought or well prepared answer, I just feel that this is the right time, the right course, the right university and that I am currently at the right state of mind. Happy? :)



On a lighter note, little things that keep me motivated. Bag sekolah baru (thanks to a dear friend's trip to Paris).... yup... it doesn't matter whether it is Standard 1, Form 1 or whatever... It is always exciting to start your new chapter in life with a new bag!!!! ;)


And not forgetting a new pencil case (cool right with the silver zebra print?? Hubby said he won't be caught dead using that though... lol) and a new planner! :)

Will keep on updating on how the course moving along....
And with that, the real me surfaces up... OMG! OMG! OMG! What was I thinking?? What was I thinking?? MBA??? Really???

Taking a deep breath now... :)

But I really need all the luck in the world!! Wish me luck.... please???....

xoxo

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

loves and heart breaks

Nak cerita pasal love ni and nak kena ada feel... and so in this post I will use bahasa rojak...

There are many types of love, the ultimate love of all is Allah, and then there is kasih ibu yang tiada tolok bandingannya, kasih sayang with family members, friends, pets etc etc but what I want to talk about here is kasih sayang between lovers.. I mean the corny, cliche I love you, you love me between two undeniably stupid people who fall in love for no apparent reason... The type of love that people write stories about like Romeo and Juliet, Adam and Eve, Bella and Eward... etc etc etc... you get what I mean... :p

This kinda stupid, crazy love will make you get that tingly feeling inside your stomach... you feel as if there are a  few butterfly farms combined inside your stomach and it is about to explode anytime soon with all the fluttering here and there, you feel the mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang, sikat tak licin feelings and sometimes macam nak muntah pun ada.... Generally you feel like shit! haha... but this is the kind of LOVE that is worth to talk about... If you do not feel any of the descriptions above, to me, then it is not love, it is infatuation or to quote from facebook's language it is only "Like"... You "like" it but you don't feel like commenting... hehe

The story starts when you are about 15-17 (this is a very basic estimation as sometimes it happens earlier or sometimes it happens later... depends on one's "kegatalan"... haha).

When you were a teenager, you fell in love for the first time and for most of us, that love doesn't last long, let alone a lifetime and now when you are older you will deem that as puppy love... woof woof... :)....

Following that, for most of us, we will get our hearts broken for the first time.

The first time you get your heart broken, you feel as if it is the end of the world! You cried buckets! For some, you did not want to leave your room and when you are actually able to leave your room, you decided that you need to do a paradigm shift on your life like totally... and to do it there and then. At that age, unable to do as you pleased but deep inside you still want to express your anger and frustration (ala-ala frust menonggeng.. haha) you could opt do one of the following (trial and tested methods):

1) cut your hair (cut it really short that everyone will notice that you did stuffs to your hair, not the now and then trimming to get rid of split ends kinda cut or the I want to get rid of the super straight rebonded hair kinda cut);
2) Color your hair (haha.. ok ok I am a little bit obsessed with my hair), but make sure you do it really well and it flatters your total appearance as you want to make yourself happy again... not dye it dark blue and change you from the cheerful happy outgoing girl to a dark lipped goth look girl (tried it... it WILL make you look like a witch and does NOT make you feel any better);
3) or you could get your belly (or any other body parts) pierced, not every time but yup, did that once, happy for a few weeks but not very happy with the outcome now....lol), also please note that the ultimate quest here is to make you feel better.. so kalau pierce kat hidung, eyebrow, lips etc and end up scaring people away, the chance is you won't feel better and that the girl or guy who left you or left by you will have a kenduri doa selamat as you are no longer in their life).... haha;
4) confide in your best friend(s) (this method is highly recommended and it has been tested so many times and subject that your best friend(s) are really good people, you will get the kick-on-the-butt that sometimes you really need at that time... )...

These are some suggestions for teenagers as they are still on the rebellious stage but don't tell your parents that you get this from my blog... sendiri buat sendiri tanggung (oh gosh.. I hope my baby girl never read this) :p

And then time flies and without you realising it you are much better now and you have reached your 20s or 30s or 40s or 50s or 60s or 70s etc etc and deemed an adult (Not! sama je...).... :p

When you reached your 20s or 30s (lebih kurang je... you still fee the same), you thought that the volatile teenager's hormones that have been possessing your body and make you think and feel weird, have subsided or even have exited your body totally and that you are able to meet someone on a more mature level and start a REAL love life. NOT!! Falling in love, makes all that volatile teenager's hormones come back and it came back stronger than ever as if with a vengeance! You fall in love again and again and again and again... Each time when you first falls in love, you feel as if you walk on air... working late sampai pagi in the office was not so bad as there is that one special person who keeps on calling, texting you and making you smile and wait to have dinner (make that supper... dinner always turn to supper - common for career driven person... if you are not this type of person... then stick to dinner :p) with you.

Nonetheless, you get fed up as you still haven't mastered this stupid relationship thingy!

And then you break up for the not sure how many times with the same person (sometimes) and also with different person (most of the time)... and you feel as if your life has ended and that you will die alone, as a spinster and maybe if you are lucky enough you will have a cat who will accompany you... and you think, damn you volatile teenager's hormones! How come you are still here? How come I feel as bad as I felt when I was 16 or 17?

But then when you have reached your 20s or 30s (trust me, you still feel the same), you have a little bit more money than when you were a teenager, so you could do the following to make this heart break session more bearable:

1) spend more time with your girlfriends or guy friends or gay friends (for girls they are the best to bitch about your good for nothing ex) chillaxing at premium coffee shops or posh restaurants (this depends on your preference really, if you like to lepak at mamak also can... as long as you are happy);
2) you recognise the full potential of the treatment called retail therapy and mark my word, will be using that treatment until you die (this is only a presumption nonetheless a very valid one as I remembered how I use to shop online while lying on a hospital bed feeling blue and depressed and need a little pick-me-up);
3) go on girly road trips with your girl friends (or if you are a boy, boy's trip la kan).... all in the name of "i frust babe, please help me to feel better".... :p;
4) do a total body make over (again I stress, the one that can actually make you feel and look good, not the self destructive kinda thing);
5) confide in your best friends (who ever that may be, by this age you may have already found a person that really understand you inside and out. See I told you before that confiding in your best friends works at any age)...

Nonetheless, this is definitely not an extensive method to sure cure your broken heart but you may try one of these methods and I am also sure that for every religious beliefs you have your own way to overcome sadness... Above is only some of the fun things that I have done in the past to overcome my own heart breaks... And I still believe that these methods will still work no matter what age you are now...

Not trying to be yoda-ish but hearts broken everyday, it is how you handle it makes a different... you may choose to learn and accept it or keep on being sad... the choice is yours...

For me, learn to redha with everything that comes your way and learn to be content with your life because life is too short indeed.

xoxo